Great work by guzlomi as I expected!
Here are my initial thoughts. Please bear in mind I know nothing in legalese and I am also very new to these kinds of topics in general. Some of these may intersect with what others have responded earlier.
I like freedom guarantees provided in various parts of your proposal.
I am missing provisions about transparency; force the government to display everything it does so anyone can judge.
4-d) Ensure equal opportunities in space for all Asgardians living on Earth, without any discrimination of any kind
The "on Earth" clause contradicts 6-ii which accepts non-Earth lifeforms as well. I'd rephrase that similarly to 4-b and 6-ii ("sensible and intelligent forms of life").
- Supreme Values
Could you also add something about science / research / space?
6-ii) Any sensible and intelligent form of life can become a citizen of Asgardian according to law.
Haha I love this provision. Can't wait for the time we get to accept the first non-Earth lifeform as a new Asgardian. :)
6-iii) The acquisition and loss of Asgardian citizenship shall be determined by law
Whoa, loss of citizenship is a whole debate of its own! It is currently being heavily discussed in my Earth country (France) and so far has been denied.
I believe a modern nation such as Asgardia should be able to deal with bad people without making them lose their citizenship. People can be helped, they can change.
Even if a person deserved lifetime emprisonment / death (another debate :P), that should in my opinion happen without loss of citizenship.
Similary, 7-ii ("right to live in Asgardian territory") can be controversial. In my opinion, a modern nation does not need to exile people.
8-iv) Asgardian citizens have the right to protect their space nation against all inner & external enemies.
Shouldn't citizens delegate that to the government? Does this mean anyone can shoot anyone when they think the person is trying to harm the space nation?
- Key Obligations of Citizens
9-i is a good idea; it basically encompasses everything needed. :) Perhaps add an explicit note about respecting / not harming others?
13-i) The State shall exercise sovereignty over mining on celestial bodies and over any energy produced in Asgardia by any means.
Hmm, does this mean it is impossible for a private company to mine things? Everything goes to Asgardia?
15-iii) Copyright, patent and other intellectual property rights shall be regulated by law.
Patents are another topic worth a lengthy debate... I'd leave them out; my opinion is they do far more harm than good.
18-i) All citizens of Asgardia are equal before law, regardless of [...]
Same as for the declaration of unity - I see no point in listing the various difference kinds, especially when adding "or any other difference" afterwards.
- Security of Citizens
I wouldn't mention ID numbers within "security"; IDs simply help with administrative affairs.
Important here is how people are identified. A number is not enough (can be faked). This section should include elements about biometrics.
This may be getting mixed up with 24 (Security Services and Systems) though.
22-i) Every man fit to bear arms shall be required [...]
I must disagree with this provision. I don't want anyone be forced to fight. People will do what they think is right in their mind according to 9-ii, but I dislike forcing them.
24-ii) Asgardian communication systems will be protected and encoded.
Encoding is not enough; one also needs trust.
There have been discussions about a common language such as Lojban / Esperanto. I would love Lojban. :)
Are you sure this can work without an official language though? De facto, wouldn't the language chosen to write legal documents be the official language?
An official language may be important in the case of conflicts, where every single word matters. That can't work when there are documents in multiple languages.
Why a specific oath for government members? All Asgardians should implicitly have taken that oath.
33-ii) [...] The Ministers shall be appointed by the Head of State. [...]
That gives an awful lot of power to a single person. Wouldn't it make more sense to let Asgardians pick these ministers?
34-iv) [...] The candidate obtaining the absolute majority of the votes cast shall be appointed as Judge by the Head of State.
Is this simply a legal formulation or does it mean the head of the nation can block the procedure?