Ralph’s

If I had been awake at the time and someone who actually cared for current events, I might have noticed a news bulletin on the subject of a large number of disappearances happening in France and Germany. I would have also noticed when the news anchor vanished on camera. But I was watching re-runs of Dragon ball Z which is admittedly almost as entertaining. If I wouldn’t have been stoned off my ass before going to sleep I might have been awa ke when two cars crashed into the tile and flooring store next to my apartment building. If I’d have gone outside for literally any reason or even opened the damn curtains to one of my apartment windows I would’ve noticed the lack of people on the usually busy streets. As it happened I finally left the isolation of my messy one bedroom one bathroom apartment, when I realized that I had run completely out of my favorite food to snack on. “ Fruit Swirl C ereal ” which was just completely unacceptable as far as living conditions go. A man can live without his beef and veggies and even toilet paper for a time but if he has no more sugary cereal then shit gets real. When I left the apartment I remembered to lock the door since last time I forgot , two or three weeks ago I think it was ? I can ’t remember exactly as I had taken a particularly large hit from my one-of-a-kind dragon ball shaped bong to help brace against the cold I knew I would have to endure. Anyways some guys with hockey masks tried to steal my couch. This was according to my nosy neighbor Janice who was like 1000 years old, like seriously I think she raised Nosferatu, she even referred to the thieves as “ hoodlums ” I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing when she said that. After Janice told me what happened I remember being curious as to why she never called the cops on them but decided not to push the subject as she never called anyone about me hot-boxing my apartment on more than one occasion. Luckily the couch had been too big to fit out the door so the would be thieves just left it in the doorway. How did I get it in you might ask? Wouldn ’t you like to know.

“Won’t get in this time shit-heels .” I muttered to myself while frowning. The lock wouldn ’t turn all the way. I tried wiggling the door while turning the key but the lock still stopped halfway. With a heavy sigh I decided to leave the door alone, after all I’d be gone for only a minute. I trotted down the three flights of stairs it took to get down to the ground floor of the building wishing all the while that the landlord Stanley, whom everyone called Stan, would finally get around to putting in that damn elevator he promised everyone in the monthly letter he sent to all the residents. The last stair creaked loudly, protesting being trod on for the umpteenth time wishing itself no longer burdened with the unfortunate station which it found itself so charged with upholding. There was a lot of things like that in the building wilting wallpaper, flickering lights, altogether aging infrastructure which was promised relief that never came, unable to escape from its struggle against time and gravity. The apartment building had been built in 1963 as an office building that was converted to apartments in the early 1990s. Though nothing about it suggested anything new had occurred with the building since then.

The exterior of the building was a clever facade to the integrity of its innards, fresh gray paint lay upon its surface with no cracks visible for at least 4 of the 10 stories . T he average person would not likely need to look higher so why bother with filling in anything else? T he b uilding looked industrial in its appearance, bars on the first 2 floors of the building gave it the illusion of security from intruders. Though if anyone looked to the alleys flanking each side of the building one would see a fire escape that was within easy reach. All in all the building reminded me of those aging celebrities who get b otox treatments to cling with arthritic fingers to their youth.

I could feel as well as hear the frigid wind whistling at a fever pitch from the gap in the double doors where the insulation had crumbled, foretelling the beginning of winter was going to be especially cold this year. I shouldered open the double doors while zipping up my heavy black and yellow hoodie bracing for the blast of air that whooshed into my face , and chilled me to the bone . I recoiled considering returning to my warm inviting couch and curling up isolated from the world. I pushed the impulse away with some difficulty and trudged onward. The light was turning yellow while shadows grew long reaching like tendrils rushing to embrace the coming victims of the coming night. Dim streetlights were turning on marking the beginning of the electrical grid ’s watch against the dark making sure that if a denizen of the city were to be stabbed in the night, at least they’d see it coming . Yanking my hood over my head and tucking my head to my chest I focused on the ground and my route which was well rehearsed in my food run routine leading to the convenience store a block and a half away. My mi nd became focused on my objective get snacks, get back, and get high ...er, all without tripping preferably . Also some toilet paper would be helpful probably.

My life had become full of simple objectives like that lately ever since I got passed over for a promotion to become a level 2 Help Desk Technician at TecShots, which was a company that hired out IT specialists to fortune 100 companies. My supervisor Toby said it was because I hadn ’t been at the company long enough, which was total bullshit since the person that got the promotion had only been there three months longer than me. Seriously what more could I learn than I already had if I had three months more experience. I was pretty sure Toby just plain hated me since I was the only one that didn’t pretend to listen to his long rants about being responsible and professional and not leading a pothead’s life. I had no clue what he was talking about or why he only said this last part to me since on all of my piss tests I paid one of the guys at the company who administered the test to pee for me, so there shouldn’t have been any reason for suspicion. Anyways I had been increasingly depressed as since then my life seemed to keep piling on problems from the job, to the break in, to my black Oldsmobile getting totaled in a hit and run while it was parked on the street. Of course that’s nothing compared to how shitty the blind dates my friend kept setting me up on went. The first one I went to the girl never showed up at the restaurant, the second went with me to a club and left with someone else when I left to use the bathroom, and the latest one wouldn’t shut up about how great god is and her church community, and when I mentioned I was atheist she got real quiet then flat out said you’re not my type then promptly got up and left.  Nothing was going right in my life. I plodded down the cracked concrete sidewalk looking for incoming shoes to swerve away from, none came. After a few steps I put my earbuds in my ears and focused more overtly on the ground making an effort to seem preoccupied, so I wouldn’t have to stomach having to pay any attention to the homeless guy that always tries to get me to buy his sub-par weed on the corner before Ralph’s. He’d been trying to deal to me since he saw and smelt the smoke coming out of my window a few months ago. It’s not that he’s a bad guy necessarily it’s just that the bags he sells them in are always grimy and I’m pretty sure it’s mostly stems anyways, the dregs leftover from whatever guy he gets it from, and so not worth the headache after to smoke.

I looked up as I approached the entrance to “Ralph’s Corner Store” I could tell I was getting close because the beginning of the wall where the apartment buildings that line the street turn to rows of shops is clearly defined by a darker shade of gray . Then t he residential gray and white brick turns to red brick with green and red awnings to shelter customers from either rain or heat. I always thought it was a smart thing for the shops to do, by making their shops warmly colored it made them look really inviting and so people usually hung out around there just chilling and talking to each other on the side walk. With that knowledge handy, I ignored whatever people were likely nearby not even granting a cursory glance up as I pulled open the glass door and stepped into the florescence of the store.

Ralph’s usually had James, an older big Samoan guy with thin brown hair and a receding hairline at the register, he always had a crooked smile plastered on his face and was generally known as a pretty nice guy, always talking about his two kids Jamie and Patrick and how they were about to graduate to eighth grade or how they got on their school honor roll. He always reminded about when I was a kid, by comparison to my own father. Who was only a shadowy memory to me. Not that he was bad he died in a really bad car crash when I was four.

Usually James would greet customers when he heard the bell tinkle but when I entered the eight aisle, snack lined shop no voice boomed from behind the counter in its naturally jovial tone . Must be in the back taking stock or something. I mused while strolling down each row of waist-high, junk food lined shel ves scanning for any sign of the fruity deliciousness that was my cereal. Once located I firmly picked up the box which showed a picture of a toucan where the colorful bird was perched on a branch in some tropical forest, while spreading its wings as if ready to take flight, photo shopped next to a pixelated rainbow and the word “ F ruit” in block letters at the top of the bo x underscored by the word “Swirl” in a curvy font all on the cover of a cardboard box. I looked up to see if James was back at the register yet, but he was still absent from his post.  I wal tzed over to the register with my prize and a dumb grin on my face and called out,

“Hey James! It’s Kerry can you ring this up real quick, man?” I waited expectantly for a response. Nothing. “You there?” I called again. I leaned over the counter to where I could see into the back room via the open door. Still silence, in fact I couldn’t hear anything at all , not like I was deaf but in the sense that after living in a city for a while you get used to certain noises being present at all times car engines and horns, people shouting or just talking loudly, dogs barking, buses releasing brake pressure , neighbors shit-talking outside your door or window , police sirens. I heard nothing as I stood at the counter un sure how to proceed and growing slightly impatient . With no other option occurring to my brain but to wait, I looked out the shop window for a solid 5 minutes and saw nothing go by. No cars, no people, just a view of the opposite shop which was an electronics store that had a sign out front claiming everything to be 40% off for black Friday. I checked my watch which read four fifty-six  Tuesday, November twenty ninth two-thousand-seventeen . I sighed heavily thinking that the next episode of Dragon Ball Z was about to start and I knew it was gonna be good as it was advertised as being the first fight with Boo in the series. With my patience expended I decided to leave a note which read “N eeded Fruit Swirls in a hurry ” signed it Kerry and left a five dollar bill for the cereal which was worth three dollars and forty four cents according to the price tag . I walked over to the door and looked right as I pushed on the door to make sure I didn ’t hit anyone with it. I froze.