This is a continuation of my four death series where I am recollecting  my past experiences with death and the lessons learned from those experiences.  My Story I feel is the best way I have for people to get to know the “real” me.  I hope you enjoy the Stories.

My Story

Death 3

The Punishment

This I feel will be the hardest story to tell amongst the four.  It was a troubling time in my life that caused many repercussions later down the road, that I still to this day struggle with.  One could say that growing up as a child was not an ideal situation for me.  I was the youngest out of five children (4 boys 1 girl) and one of the most unusual ones as well.  I did not see things as my brothers nor  shared their enthusiasm  of being rough, tough. Boys.    I was more loving, adventurous, artistic, and a natural explorer.  My curiosity always got the better of me, and often got me in trouble.  Because I was obviously  different,  my brothers would tease me, hit on me, scare me, make fun of me, and let everyone at my school know details about me that caused the other children to stay away from me.  Some of those details would be true, some not.  They also would blame me for most everything that happened at the house, whether I did it or not, in most cases not.  So to say the least I stayed in trouble with my dad and often received his form of punishment.  My mother and dad got a divorce when I was five so most of my childhood was spent only with my dad.  I was one of 2 children who wanted to stay with mom  instead of dad during the divorce, the other was my sister (but all five of us were awarded to my dad).  I believe this caused resentment in my dad and it seemed he often took that resentment out on me.  My dad was a strict authoritarian who had served many years in the military.  He also suffered from a strong case of OCD.  Everything had to be perfect, dress right dress, and white glove inspect-able, which was very hard for me since my inner personality was as far away from  OCD as can be.  Needless to say we rarely saw eye to eye on anything.   My dad had a very harsh form of punishment that often left me bleeding, bruised, and scarred.  I still bare the scars of those days which is a constant reminder of something I much rather forget.  My dad was a product of his environment so I really don't blame him  or hate him  for anything he done.  He's my dad and I will always love him  for that, and we did share some good times from  time to time that showed his true self without all the junk that life was throwing at him.

One particular occasion of me getting into trouble, my dad had informed me that under no circumstances was I ever to smoke a cigarette.  This peeked my curiosity to the point where I had to see what cigarettes was all about.  At first I would go to the stock car race track and when people would throw their cigarettes down from  the bleachers, I would pick them  up and smoke them.  I liked the cigarettes, they made me feel better in some kind of way I could not explain.  So eventually I started buying packs and hiding them  from  dad.  I would  sneak off and smoke, or do it at school. Well one horrible day my dad found my cigarettes.  I was 16 and driving at the time and thought I had hid them well but he managed to find them.  When I got home from  school he was waiting for me in the living room  with a look of anger I will never forget.  He held up the cigarettes and asked “what is this” I tried very calmly to say a cigarette pack, and he then took them  and destroyed the pack and grabbed his leather belt.  He told me to stand in the middle of the living room and remove my pants.  I pleaded with him  some, trying to change his mind, but he got very loud and forceful so I did what he said.  He then began to release in full force several licks with the leather belt with it fully opened.  The belt would hit my backside then recoil around and hit my front side as well.  It was very painful.  Half way through I decided to make another plea, in the hopes we could talk it out without all this pain.  When I turned around he mistakenly thought I was coming after him, (I was a very small person, and in no way could pose a threat to my father who was in his prime and very strong) and he started to punch me in my face.  I started to fear for my life so I tried to run from  the room.  When I did my fathers anger escalated to the point where he grabbed me and put his arm  around my throat and started to choke the air out of me.    So I reached out to my step mom and asked her to help but she was to scared  so she shook  her head no and walked away.  It wasn’t long before I started to pass out and went limp.   The next thing I remember is being in my room where my dad was standing over me after resuscitating me. He then destroyed my drivers license and said I would never drive again and left the room.   Although I was happy to be alive it was a bad day, but my hope told me it would get better someday.

Lessons learned:

1. People are often a product of their environment so you have to be understanding, patient, kind, and humble in your approach to understanding them
2. Often the large or small things we do to others can have repercussions later in life, keep that in mind when you make a decision
3. Don't let your emotions control your actions
4. No  matter how you feel about the situation, harming others is never the best choice, diplomacy, understanding, forgiveness, and patience goes a long way, and has far better results.
5. Sometimes its best not to let your curiosity get the best of you
6. No  matter how different a person may seem, trying to see things from  their eyes and putting yourself in their shoes, has a most rewarding outcome
7. You don't really know someone until you take the time to get to know them, don't judge or make your decisions based off what others think, make your own conclusions by experience
8. Things are not what they always seem, get a clear understanding, ask questions, investigate, be objective,  then come to a conclusion.
9. We should not resent or condemn others for actions beyond their control
10. When someone is in trouble and their life is being threaten, help them  no matter how scared you are, its the right thing to do
11. The things we hide never stay hidden, someway, somehow, people always manage to figure them out
12. No matter how horrible a person may seem, somewhere deep down inside them  is a wonderful person, you just have to peel back the layers of junk to find that person, if their willing to let you
13. Be careful how you punish others, the scars may be with them  a very long time
14. Even when life seems hopeless there is always hope, you just have to keep believing, never stop seeking what seem s unattainable.

Death 4 to be written next week

Greetings , the inhabitants of our beautiful world. The world in which there are no boundaries, where it does not matter who you are and where, where there is no direction and no "above" and "below." We all live a dream. Dream of a world where it will not matter "what for" but it is important "why". Where decisions will be made not by a handful of corrupt politicians, but by leaders, leading their friends and voters to the future of mankind. Where there is no place for clan and tribe, but there is a possibility and support. Let me congratulate you on the important stage of our development- an launch preparation, even if not the largest? but still artificial satellite of ours,the first planet.

Juz od dwudziestu lat dane jest nam obserwować z jakimi to skrajnościami losu może zmierzyć się owoc wiedzy oraz przebłysków intuicji jakim zapewne jest silnik EmDrive. Już kolejne pokolenie inżynierów praktyków I teoretyków katuje technologię napędu proponowaną przez jego twórcę, pana Rogera Shawyera. Za ojca koncepcji uznaje on profesora Erica Laithwaite. Pozwolę sobie Tobie przypomnieć, że EmDrive to rodzaj elektrycznego silnika napędowego do pojazdów kosmicznych który do wytworzenia ciągu nie potrzebuje zapasów propellentu. W odróżnieniu od silników jonowych silnik ten generuje ciąg poprzez mikrofale odbijające się od wnętrza stożkowatej i wykonanej z metalu konstrukcji, będącej rodzajem rezonatora mikrofalowego, w którym fale rozchodząc się w kierunku szerszego końca przyśpieszają. Niby proste ... ale nie powinien działać. Ale działa. Chociaż niektórzy twierdzą, że nie działa. No, może chociaż w polu magnetycznym Ziemi? Próby prześledzenia obowiązujących I wiążących opinii na temat EmDrive mogą przyprawić o niemały ból głowy. Ostatnio (koniec 2018 roku) drezdeńscy naukowcy z zespołu Martina Tajmara (pracujący w oparciu o granty DARPA) stwierdzili, że jednak nie działa. Wielcy, NASA i Chińczycy zachowują wyniosłe milczenie.

A firma z Pensylwanii, Cannae Corporation , buduje swoją wersję EmDrive czyli silnik Cannae-Drive którego konstruktorem jest Guido Fetta.

Dla bardziej dociekliwych, link do strony Satellite Propulsion Research Ltd :

http://www.emdrive.com/

oraz strony Cannae Corporation:

http://cannae.com/cannae-exhibit-at-the-henry-ford-museum/