(This is a personal interview done by "Hong Kong Stories" back in June 2017:
https://www.facebook.com/hongkongstories2015/posts/1496610857080913:0
)
我是Calvin,今年三十八歲,在香港出生,職業是精算師。我於一個小康家庭長大,因為父母擔心回歸問題,兩個妹妹都是在美國出生。
我最初在港島區居住,小學一二年級就讀中西區名校,但後來家庭環境變差,所以三年級時搬到馬鞍山第一個公共屋邨居住,大廈是一種Y型設計,每層二十四個單位,住在隔鄰都是一些與我差不多年紀的男孩子,小時候我們會隔著鐵閘傾談,到假期便會一起到其中一個小朋友家中打遊戲機。
當年馬鞍山這一個公屋邨是出名品流複雜的,搬到這裡不足數月已經被一班童黨欺凌,自從那次之後,我決定做一個欺凌別人的人,也不被別人欺凌。隨後小四至小六都過著到處欺壓其他人的生活,一來受著一班小學同學影響,他們其中有一些是有背景人士,二來我家人管教甚嚴,時常都向我施以體罰,導致自己好勇鬥狠,認為暴力是可以解決問題。每星期學校最少要約見我的家長兩次,因此我的操行一直以來都是十分之差,但當時我還接受家人的管教,所以學業成績尚算不錯,但到了中學時家人已經管不到我,成績便開始一落千丈。在初中時父母亦非常擔心我不能升上中五,媽媽是公務員,當年政府會資助公務員子女到英國讀書,父母決定待我完成中三便送我到英國讀書。當時我覺得非常有優越感,因為在我身旁的朋友沒有一個能夠到外國留學。父母亦非常擔心我到英國後,能否應付高級程度考試,連我身邊最好的兩個朋友,都估計我讀完兩年書之後便會回港工作,一個預測我將會是一個水喉匠,另-個認為我會在黃金商場修理電腦。
最終我在一九九四年九月離開香港,當時有四十位朋友送機,乘坐了十多小時飛機後,到達了一個完全陌生的地方,這便展開了我七年的英國生活,我會將它形容成一個在監獄裡發奮圖強的故事。我覺得到了一間不大歡迎中國人的學校,當時我完全不懂英語,學校覺得是個非常嚴重的問題,所以隔天便邀請學校牧師的太太,為我補習英語,這位老師是我人生的轉捩點。我除了不懂英語,亦是一個很頑劣的學生,很多時作出一些無禮的行為,她包容我之餘,還教懂我英國的禮儀,不過最重要是她帶給我人生很多的啟發,她會和我討論價值觀問題,亦會與我研究高級程度考試選料,大學選擇什麼學科和畢業後揀選那種工作,她給我一份希望和信任。有一次她在教員室內跟其他老師說,相信我在高級程度考試會拿到好成績,但一班教員室內的老師都取笑她,很可惜這位老師只教導我年半時間,但她的支持令我人生開始有了目標,從而慢慢發奮努力向上。在高考時是我已經成為學校的頂尖學生,亦順利進入大學精算系,以一級榮譽學位畢業,之後還獲得獎學金,二十七歲時我在澳洲完成了博士課程。
在我大學畢業至開始博士課程中間兩年,我在當年的五大會計師樓工作,幾乎每晚都要工作至凌晨,令我開始反思,讀那麼多書其實為了什麼,是否要當別人的生財工具,很奇怪身邊的同事皆認為,入行時已經接受了這個事實。他們的想法促使我尋找一些義務工作,但當年能夠投入義務工作的時間有限,因為上班的工作時間實在太長。
二零一零年我從澳洲回港,找到一份穩定的銀行分析師工作,我將大部分時間投放在一個發展青年人的組織,與一班年青人籌備不同和有意義的工作計劃,亦很有幸,這一個組織把機會給予一個讀書時甚至班長和行長都未當過的人,管理和領導一個百多人的會。這幾年義務工作經驗帶給我不單止是朋友和一些不同的技能,最重要是帶給我兩個啟示,(一)讓我更加了解自己的能力和什麼是自己的深層次的障礙,(二)我覺得更重要的是一個希望,有一件事情我覺得很無聊,亦覺得很自豪,就是我到了今年三十八歲還有夢想,而我覺得自己是有能力可以將自己的夢想實現。在我身旁的人,包括一些從小認識的好朋友,小時候大家一起談論將來,講理想,現在似乎都被現實淹沒了,有很多人的思維都離不開上班,下班,照顧小朋友和置業。有時候看到自己的好朋友有這些情況,我也覺得有點耿耿於懷。我的夢想就是希望帶給香港這個社會正面的改變,特別是針對青年人。
我深信現在香港社會,並不是好像現時一些八,九十後所形容得那麼灰暗和沒有出路。我相信給他們一些指引,給他們真正認識外邊的世界,給他們一些支援,可以令到他們的人生有更明確的目標,從而有更多的正能量,能夠令到我們的青年人積極向上,我們的香港便有希望,以上就是我的夢想。
...
(This is a personal interview done by "Hong Kong Stories" back in June 2017:
https://www.facebook.com/hongkongstories2015/posts/1496610857080913:0
)
我是Calvin,今年三十八歲,在香港出生,職業是精算師。我於一個小康家庭長大,因為父母擔心回歸問題,兩個妹妹都是在美國出生。
我最初在港島區居住,小學一二年級就讀中西區名校,但後來家庭環境變差,所以三年級時搬到馬鞍山第一個公共屋邨居住,大廈是一種Y型設計,每層二十四個單位,住在隔鄰都是一些與我差不多年紀的男孩子,小時候我們會隔著鐵閘傾談,到假期便會一起到其中一個小朋友家中打遊戲機。
當年馬鞍山這一個公屋邨是出名品流複雜的,搬到這裡不足數月已經被一班童黨欺凌,自從那次之後,我決定做一個欺凌別人的人,也不被別人欺凌。隨後小四至小六都過著到處欺壓其他人的生活,一來受著一班小學同學影響,他們其中有一些是有背景人士,二來我家人管教甚嚴,時常都向我施以體罰,導致自己好勇鬥狠,認為暴力是可以解決問題。每星期學校最少要約見我的家長兩次,因此我的操行一直以來都是十分之差,但當時我還接受家人的管教,所以學業成績尚算不錯,但到了中學時家人已經管不到我,成績便開始一落千丈。在初中時父母亦非常擔心我不能升上中五,媽媽是公務員,當年政府會資助公務員子女到英國讀書,父母決定待我完成中三便送我到英國讀書。當時我覺得非常有優越感,因為在我身旁的朋友沒有一個能夠到外國留學。父母亦非常擔心我到英國後,能否應付高級程度考試,連我身邊最好的兩個朋友,都估計我讀完兩年書之後便會回港工作,一個預測我將會是一個水喉匠,另-個認為我會在黃金商場修理電腦。
最終我在一九九四年九月離開香港,當時有四十位朋友送機,乘坐了十多小時飛機後,到達了一個完全陌生的地方,這便展開了我七年的英國生活,我會將它形容成一個在監獄裡發奮圖強的故事。我覺得到了一間不大歡迎中國人的學校,當時我完全不懂英語,學校覺得是個非常嚴重的問題,所以隔天便邀請學校牧師的太太,為我補習英語,這位老師是我人生的轉捩點。我除了不懂英語,亦是一個很頑劣的學生,很多時作出一些無禮的行為,她包容我之餘,還教懂我英國的禮儀,不過最重要是她帶給我人生很多的啟發,她會和我討論價值觀問題,亦會與我研究高級程度考試選料,大學選擇什麼學科和畢業後揀選那種工作,她給我一份希望和信任。有一次她在教員室內跟其他老師說,相信我在高級程度考試會拿到好成績,但一班教員室內的老師都取笑她,很可惜這位老師只教導我年半時間,但她的支持令我人生開始有了目標,從而慢慢發奮努力向上。在高考時是我已經成為學校的頂尖學生,亦順利進入大學精算系,以一級榮譽學位畢業,之後還獲得獎學金,二十七歲時我在澳洲完成了博士課程。
在我大學畢業至開始博士課程中間兩年,我在當年的五大會計師樓工作,幾乎每晚都要工作至凌晨,令我開始反思,讀那麼多書其實為了什麼,是否要當別人的生財工具,很奇怪身邊的同事皆認為,入行時已經接受了這個事實。他們的想法促使我尋找一些義務工作,但當年能夠投入義務工作的時間有限,因為上班的工作時間實在太長。
二零一零年我從澳洲回港,找到一份穩定的銀行分析師工作,我將大部分時間投放在一個發展青年人的組織,與一班年青人籌備不同和有意義的工作計劃,亦很有幸,這一個組織把機會給予一個讀書時甚至班長和行長都未當過的人,管理和領導一個百多人的會。這幾年義務工作經驗帶給我不單止是朋友和一些不同的技能,最重要是帶給我兩個啟示,(一)讓我更加了解自己的能力和什麼是自己的深層次的障礙,(二)我覺得更重要的是一個希望,有一件事情我覺得很無聊,亦覺得很自豪,就是我到了今年三十八歲還有夢想,而我覺得自己是有能力可以將自己的夢想實現。在我身旁的人,包括一些從小認識的好朋友,小時候大家一起談論將來,講理想,現在似乎都被現實淹沒了,有很多人的思維都離不開上班,下班,照顧小朋友和置業。有時候看到自己的好朋友有這些情況,我也覺得有點耿耿於懷。我的夢想就是希望帶給香港這個社會正面的改變,特別是針對青年人。
我深信現在香港社會,並不是好像現時一些八,九十後所形容得那麼灰暗和沒有出路。我相信給他們一些指引,給他們真正認識外邊的世界,給他們一些支援,可以令到他們的人生有更明確的目標,從而有更多的正能量,能夠令到我們的青年人積極向上,我們的香港便有希望,以上就是我的夢想。
My name is Calvin. I am thirty-eight years old and born in Hong Kong. I am also an actuary. I grew up in a middle class family. As my parents worried about the 1997 handover of Hong Kong, my two sisters were born in the United States.
Initially, I lived in Hong Kong Island. When I was in primary one, I attended a prestigious school in the Central and Western District, but later my family environment deteriorated. By third grade, I moved to Ma On Shan’s first public housing estate. The building was a Y-shape design. Each floor had twenty-four units. The boys who lived nearby in the neighborhood were around my age. We used to talk across the gates and when it was the holidays, we would play videogames in one of their homes.
At that time, Ma On Shan was a public housing area that was well-known for its social complexities. After moving there for less than a few months, I was already bullied by a group of people. Since the incident, I decided to bully others, so that I would not be bullied again. Later when I was in Primary four to Primary six, I lived my days oppressing others. I was influenced by my primary school peers. Some of them had a ‘background’. My family was also very strict and they often punished me. These factors made me become very brave and believed that violence can solve problems. Every week the school met with my parents at least twice, and consequently, my conduct has always been very poor. However, I still accepted the way my family disciplined me, so my academic performance was pretty good. Nonetheless, when I reached high school, my family no longer had control over me. My results began to plummet. In junior high, my parents were very worried that I cannot transit to Form five. My mother was a civil servant. During those days, the government would subsidize the children of civil servants to study in the UK. In the end, my parents decided to send me to the UK after I completed Form three. I felt very superior because none of my friends around me were able to study overseas. My parents also worried whether I could handle the A-level examinations in the UK. Even my two best friends suspected that I would return to Hong Kong to look for work after two years overseas. One friend predicted that I would become a plumber and the other guessed that I would fix computers at Golden Computers Arcade.
Finally, I left Hong Kong in the September of 1994. Forty friends went to the airport to bid me farewell. After more than ten hours on the flight, I landed on the soil of a completely strange place – a place that started my seven years of British life. I would describe it as a story of me finding my voice and waiting to spread my wings in a prisonlike environment. I felt that I was not welcomed as a Chinese in school. I did not understand English at all. I thought my problem was very serious. Therefore, I invited my school pastor's wife to tutor me English the follwing day. The teacher was my turning point in life. Aside from not understanding English, I was also a very unruly student. There were many times when I behaved rudely but she still accepted me as I was. Nonetheless, she still taught me British manners and etiquette but more importantly, she inspired me greatly. She discussed the issue of values with me, and also explored the subjects that I should study for my A-levels. She also gave me hope and trust concerning which discipline to choose in university and the kind of work to seek after graduation. There was once when she was in the staff room with other teachers. She said she believed that I will get good grades for the A-levels. Disregarding her words, the group of teachers in the staff room all laughed at her. It was a pity that this teacher only taught me for half a year, but her support enabled me to find my goals in life. I began to form a goal, and slowly I struggled to scale the heights. At the public examinations, I ended up becoming the top student in school and also successfully entered the actuarial major in university. I graduated with First Class Honors and later received a scholarship. When I was twenty-seven years old, I completed my doctoral studies in Australia.
Before my doctoral studies, I joined a Big Five accountant office and had to work almost every night until the early morning. I began to reflect on the purpose of my studies. Did I really have to become someone else's tool? It was surreal that my colleagues around me had already accepted the reality of the work. They prompted me to find some volunteer work, but I only had limited time to serve others because my working hours were too long.
In 2010, I returned to Hong Kong from Australia and found a stable job as a bank analyst. I spent most of my time on an organization that developed young people. Together, we planned different and meaningful work together. I was fortunate that this organization gave me the opportunity to become a leader because I was never even a class monitor! I managed and led a group of a hundred people. Those years of volunteer work experience brought me not only friends but different skillsets. The most important thing is that it brought me two revelations. First, it enabled me to learn more about my abilities and also my deep-seated obstacles. Second, and more importantly, I felt it brought me hope. There is something that I feel very indifferent about yet also quite proud of: it is the fact that I am now thirty-eight years old but still have a dream! I also feel that I am capable of achieving my dream. Those around me, including some good friends who knew me since I was young, used to discuss about the future, but now it seems their dreams have been clouded by reality. There are many people who cannot make their dreams come true because their mentality is confined by work or because they have to take care of their children and family. Sometimes, when I see my good friends living under these circumstances, I also feel a bit upset. My dream is to make a positive change in Hong Kong's society, especially for young people.
I am convinced that the present society in Hong Kong is not as dark as it is depicted by some eighties or nineties youth. I believe that if we give them some guidance, a real understanding of the outside world, and give them some support, they can have clearer goals in life. Ultimately, they will garner more positive energy and motivate others to better themselves. Our Hong Kong still has hope. The aforementioned story is my dream. At present, I hope to spend my spare time serving more Hong Kong people in our thriving community.